When I began eating meat again, I finally began to heal.

What are your feelings about eating meat?

After 12 years as a vegetarian and one year as a vegan, eating meat again was impossible without a massive paradigm shift. My health had steadily declined in spite of “clean eating” – mostly whole foods and very little sugar or processed foods. Over those 12 years, uncomfortable bloating/distension at night devolved to a burning ache in my constantly swollen belly. With insomnia, chronic fatigue, numerous aches and pains, and mental health struggles, I couldn’t understand why my supposedly “healthy” diet wasn’t working. As much as I did not want to participate in the suffering of any living being, I found myself to be suffering.

Until one day I stumbled on an article about using a carnivore diet as an elimination diet, or a way to wipe out small intestine bacterial overgrowth (SIBO).

The paradigm shift was a gradual acceptance that I too, a human, deserved some relief from suffering. Once awareness of the fact that no living being can exist on this planet without causing “harm” to other living beings rose to the surface, I could not unsee it. Everything eats something, and eventually everything finds its way back into the earth, to be eaten by something else, to be made into someone else. I finally accepted my place in the circle of life.

With my first bite of steak, I first felt a tinge of sadness and even digust – the flesh of an animal was in my mouth. As I chewed and swallowed that savory bite, I then felt a warm bliss wash over me. I thanked the animal who gave its life so that I may thrive. By the time I’d cleared my plate, I felt full and deeply satisfied in a way I hadn’t known in years. My body had answered this nourishment with “Yes, this is what I’ve been crying for all along.”

I ended up remaining on a carnivore diet for 18 months. Every time I tried reintroducing a plant into my diet, my gut protested with distension and pain. It took that long for my gut to heal.

Over the next couple of years after that first bite of steak, I made other changes to my life to facilitate healing. I ended a relationship, and – a happy accident – found the love of my life. I reduced or eliminated stress wherever I could. I worked on healing old traumas. I learned breathing and abdominal exercises to perform during and after meals that helped rewire the communication between my gut and my brain.

Now, after decades of suffering, bloating is no longer a daily misery. I am eating a wide variety of foods, 95% whole and organic, with the occasional treat of something processed or sweet. My diet consists of mostly meat and vegetables, sometimes fruit, almost no grains, and definitely no legumes. I am sleeping like a champ. My energy levels are normal enough for me to engage in creative projects and take on new challenges. I feel peaceful and content.

I feel that I owe this all to eating meat, and to my own willingness – and determination – to change.

When anyone asks me about how I healed myself and what they should do in their own quest for healing, my advice is:

Don’t be dogmatic about your diet and lifestyle. Be willing to try new things, and when you do try new things, give it at least 30 days of disciplined effort – 90 days is better. Healing is impossible without change – so be willing to change. Change can be hard, but with love, all things are possible. So, most importantly, love yourself enough to let go of the beliefs and habits that might be causing you harm. But never let go of your belief in yourself and your own strength, as this belief is where healing begins.