The afternoon of April 10, 2024, I happened to be looking at my phone when I received a popup notification from the Redfin app:
New in El Dorado! Mid-century modern rancher on 2.2 acres…
I tapped on the notification, read the listing description, scryed the images, and promptly text-messaged our realtor, who happened to be Chris’s son Ryan, to ask him to make an appointment for the following day to see the house. Ryan replied with “LOL, it’s been listed for only six minutes!”
(This place seemed to have everything we were looking for, so I wasted no time!)
The first time I set foot on the property, I immediately sensed there was something special about it. The house looked and felt like it had been loved. It smelled of cedar and lavender. It felt imbued with a peaceful, spiritual, healing energy. Appreciating the eclectic decor, peering into closets, and absorbing the sunshine streaming through the large windows, I got the feeling that if I were to meet the home’s occupant, I would like her. When sighting those large granite boulders below the back deck for the first time, I was surprised by an image that unexpectedly flashed into my head. It was a vision of women sitting still on the rocks, meditating, each wrapped in a colorful blanket or shawl and draped in the golden light of a sunrise or sunset. The words that attached to this image in my mind were “women’s spiritual retreat.” I laughed at myself then.
A former woo having planted (more like crashed) both feet on a more scientific ground (with a thud!), I thought to myself, I am not connected with a spiritual community anymore… I am no spiritual leader… I am no spiritual facilitator! So I dismissed this vision and gave it no further thought.
Until I met Lisa, the former owner.
We fell in love hard with the house and the land, wanting deeply for this to be our forever home, and made our offer. With a bit of negotiation, the sale went into escrow. Before closing, Chris and I reached out to Lisa to arrange a time for our floor refinishing company representative to take measurements and give us an estimate. She generously agreed to give us access to the home.
While the floor guy was busy taking measurements, Chris, Lisa and I struck up a deep and wide-ranging conversation. I then learned from Lisa that when she toured the house for the first time, she had the same vision as I, and she made it happen! Her home had previously hosted several gatherings of spiritual-minded women, workshops to share knowledge of meditation, yoga, breathwork, Tarot, ecstatic dance, and more. She had connections to teachers of these subjects as well as a community of seekers who want to learn, practice, and connect. Lisa also shared what the home had meant to her as part of her own healing journey.
The Sorceress and The Scientist
After a huge upheaval in my personal life more than a decade ago, I felt that that my “New Age” or metaphysical type of spirituality had failed me, so I abandoned it. Moreover, there always existed two opposing voices in my mind, which I call The Scientist and The Sorceress. These two points of view were always in conflict, and being mired in the gray mist of doubt was getting me nowhere. Acquiring information from the unseen and sublime, The Sorceress walks a fine line between illumination and insanity. The Scientist seems awfully pedantic, restrictive, and boring, but a lot easier to trust!
Was it disappointment, cynicism or practicality? I gradually disconnected from the woo community, discarded the buzz words, and set aside my dream journal and Tarot cards. Instead, I sought a less colorful, less flavorful, more bland, more solitary, and more science-based type of self-therapy, something akin to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), which ironically and subtly draws from eastern mindfulness philosophies and practices. This non-conformist introvert found DBT group therapy unhelpful (if not annoying), so I decided to develop my own style of meditation and mindfulness practices.
I stopped listening to others and learned to listen to myself, and to discover and trust in my own inner compass – which often defied the advice that well-meaning friends and loved ones would offer. I received the writings and practices of gurus and religions with acute skepticism, mostly outright rejecting them, and incorporating what could be proven scientifically or personally beneficial. I wiped clean my slate of beliefs and started writing new beliefs for myself. Most importantly, I learned to distinguish inner wisdom from wishful thinking. I stopped chasing visions. I stopped wondering about synchronicities, the law of attraction, past lives, soul contracts, karma, dharma, spirit friends and enemies, and deities.
Instead, I started making choices and decisions. I learned where attainable goals and healthy boundaries come from: self-knowledge and self-respect. I chose to follow my passions and interests for once. Diving into the unknown and facing my fears, I carried out bold plans. The changes I’d made and the events that followed unfolded into the most exquisitely beautiful and rewarding chapter of my life! I admit some of it might be considered “good luck” – the inexplicable dominion of The Sorceress. Even though not all of that chapter was easy and some of it was stressful, scary, and even heartbreaking, I have zero regrets. In taking a leap of faith, I liberated myself to become a creator, much more than an experiencer or a consumer, and found myself promoted to captain of my own ship. Eventually, The Sorceress was reborn as a very unique entity. (She’d been there all along – she needed a matured way of being seen and heard!)
And in the process of striving to heal some nagging physical ailments, I was finally able to make allies of The Sorceress and The Scientist. I’ve learned that faith is also the dominion of The Sorceress, and faith is powerful enough that even The Scientist cannot deny nor fully explain its effect. But that is another story.
This journey lead me full circle – to Star Fusion Ranch!
Following Faith
Now having found the good fortune to be in the embrace of my new home and the love of my life, Chris, the vision of the women on the rocks and the impulse that I suddenly had to continue the house’s legacy of spiritual learning and healing made no sense to me. I didn’t trust it right away. But now here I am, planning Wisdom Weekends for 2026 and envisioning how we will develop Star Fusion Ranch to provide the perfect retreat for women seeking connection and renewal. And somehow, Chris, a true science guy, is nodding along with all my ideas, not once questioning my sanity, and even putting his muscle behind the vision. What a gift he is!
The Scientist would say it’s just coincidence that Lisa and I had the same vision of women on the rocks the first time we saw the house. The Sorceress says maybe it’s a clue. Maybe it’s the spark to ignite a new journey, a coincidence compelling enough to birth a new creation.
After all I’ve been through, everything I’ve learned, and everything I’ve healed from, recovered and created for myself, The Sorceress says maybe now it’s time to build upon the gifts I’ve received and begin a new chapter – to facilitate learning and healing for others. Star Fusion Ranch is just the perfect vessel for it. Maybe I’m no spiritual leader. But with Star Fusion Ranch, this special house and this peaceful land, maybe I can host.
To The Scientist, the vision of the women sitting on the rocks is just a whimsy to smile at. The Sorceress says: RUN WITH IT, GIRL!
To which I can only say, “Okay!”
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